Hoping your kids forgive you

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Hollianne and I have been blessed with three beautiful children.  Our three have brought so much joy and laughter into our home- and lives.  They aren’t perfect, but neither are we.  These past 19 years as parents have been a wild, wonderful adventure.

Parenting is hard.  Really hard.  I’ve made enough mistakes to fill a volume of books.

We want guide them without being too overbearing.  We want them to develop without trying to make them something that they “aren’t.” We try to protect them without trying to hover. These are fine lines to walk.

I was talking to a mentor recently.  We were talking about raising kids- and the difficulty in being a dad.  He told me about times when he was younger when he had been tough on his children.  Perhaps they had disappointed or disobeyed him.  We talked about our tendency to “overcorrect” their behavior- over even overreact when we learn of their mistakes.  He had, however, grown from these experiences… and and he talked about the great relationships he enjoyed with his children as young adults.

It’s human nature…as we love our kids and want them to grow and mature into complete, responsible adults.  But we discussed how inappropriate, rash responses can hurt relationships.  The wrong response can build walls between you and your children. They may be afraid of how you’ll respond.  They might be unwilling to share their mistakes in the future.

I’m guilty.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the book of James this month.  Chapter 2 talks about passing judgement.  Two verses pricked my heart this week:

So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.  For judgement is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy.  Mercy triumphs over judgement.”  James 2: 12-13

Mercy triumphs over judgement.

Four powerful words that apply to all aspects of our lives. But for this week- they have special meaning for my relationship with my children.

Children need discipline.  It needs, however, to be appropriate.  I want my kids to come to me when they’ve messed up or need advice.  I don’t want them to be afraid that I’ll pass undue judgement.  I’ve been in their shoes.  I’ve made their mistakes.

They need more mercy and less judgement.

My prayer this week is to seek wisdom and discernment as a parent. I want to be a more effective father.  I want to be a model for consistency.

They deserve it.

Let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

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Inconsistency

arrowwood 2016It’s still hot as blazes outside, but football is in the air.  The boys are practicing with their team.  Our daughter is working with the pep club on Friday nights to foster school spirit at the high school games.

It’s our favorite time of the year.

I recently caught an NFL preview on ESPN.  One of the commentators was discussing Cam Newton, the uber-talented quarterback of the Carolina Panthers.  Cam can beat you with his arm.  He can beat you with his legs.  He can beat you with his mind.  He’s a prototype quarterback.

Almost.

They went on to say that the only thing that’s disappointing about Newton is his inconsistency.  You never know which Cam will show up…good Cam (who is very good) or bad Cam (which makes big mistakes).

Those comments hit me in the heart.

What about my own consistency?

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.  I Corinthians 15:58

What would Jesus say about my everyday effort?  Do I work hard to further develop spiritual gifts?

I’m afraid that the commentator could say the same about me.  I need to be more consistent in my own daily walk with Christ.

What should my goal be?

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

Like Newton, I need to hit the field with purpose.  Reading the Bible.  Meditating on the words.  Praying for guidance.  Putting it to practice.

Please pray for me to be more consistent with my faith…and let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

 

 

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