I had a great experience today. I traveled with two coworkers who had both gotten married within the last year. Married life has started off wonderfully for both of my colleagues, and it was fun to hear about their new lives and growth as couples.
I had an opportunity to talk about my own marriage journey with them. Hollianne and I have been married for over 22 years. I told them that there were peaks and valleys in all marriages, but that if they kept Christ at the center of their lives- they would find many more highs than lows.
I told them that I often thought of my marriage relationship with Hollianne as a bank. Simply put, I need to make daily investments into Hollianne’s life and well-being. Acts of kindness. Listening to her needs. Protecting her. Praying with and for her. Demonstrating love for my wife in front of my children, family and neighbors. Cherishing her.
It’s not always been that way. Early in our marriage I was selfish. Selfish with my time. Selfish with my wants. Putting my own interests before hers or the children.
Fortunately, I’ve matured (a little) and have learned that I need to be intentional about investing in our relationship. When the valleys come- and they will come- we can rely on the trust and respect that we’ve built over time.
Investing in one another through prayer, mutual respect and intentional acts of love make marriages that are built to last.
I’ve still got some work to do, but I know what I need to do…invest in her each and every day.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13: 4-7
My prayer this week is to find new ways to invest in Hollianne. To look for ways to build her up and make her feel cherished. To love her more today than I did yesterday. Most importantly, I need to ask for the continued guidance of Jesus Christ to help me.
Hollianne deserves the effort.
Let me know how I may pray for you.
5 thoughts on “Deposits in the Relationship bank”
Thanks, Keith. I remember going to a Men’s retreat and the theme was honoring your wife. I try every day to start my planning list with pray followed by Honor Mary and then list the activity or activities related to honoring my precious wife. Thanks for your words and Blessings to you and your family. Lee
Leland (Lee) D. Patouillet, Ph.D.
Associate Vice Chancellor, Alumni Affairs
University of Tennessee, Knoxville
Tyson Alumni House
1609 Melrose Avenue
Knoxville, TN 37996
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Lee- what a great routine and a very powerful way to make Mary a priority!
I shared with NANCY & told her I’d try to do better.
Thanks for sharing with us!
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You are an example!
Great message and advice Keith. Sure appreciate you. John Luthi
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