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What to Do when your Christmas is Blue…

‘Tis the season.

The holidays are a wonderful time of year for many people.  For others, it can be a difficult season.  One recent study reported that 45% of Americans dreaded the holidays.

Some believe that the end-of-year triggers a state of reflection…a time to think about the inadequacies of life or sad memories from the past.  Other studies have shown that shorter days and the absence of sunlight can contribute to the holidays blues.  Whatever the reason- we know that the holidays can be difficult for some.

Maybe its difficult for you.

What can we do to prevent the holiday blues?

Take some time off.  Take some time during the holidays to focus on yourself.  Exercise.  Read.  Spend some time in the morning in prayer or reflection.  Just 30 minutes a day of quiet time can recharge your batteries and keep you energized for the rest of the day.

Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!  Psalm 46:10

Give back to a good cause.  Get out of your own troubles by helping someone else.  Volunteer at a homeless shelter.  Participate in an Angle Tree program.  Deliver meals to the elderly.  Do what you can to engage with others who are in need.  Helping others gives you a fresh perspective on life and your attitude toward the holidays.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Philippians 2:4

Reconnect with someone from the past.  Think about someone who has made a difference in your life.  Take 5 minutes and send them a hand-written note.  Call the distant relative who has been struggling with health issues.  Drop by and visit your former teacher who is now in assisted living.  Text your college roommate that you’ve not seen in five years.  Relationships are important.  The people that you contact will love the effort, and these holiday communications will benefit you as much as the recipient.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Always remember- this year and every year- Jesus loves you.

We often reflect on the birth of Jesus at this time of year.  I’m happy to celebrate his birth, but it’s equally (perhaps more) important to reflect on his sacrifice and death on the cross.  He gave His life up for you and me.  He allowed himself to be crucified so that we may be free from sin- and have eternal life in Heaven.  Jesus knew we would be broken…sinners.  But he loves us anyway.  No matter what we do- Jesus never leaves.  Draw near to him this holiday season.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Let’s pray for those who may be hurting this holiday season.

And as always, please let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

 

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Level playing fields

Our boys are experiencing a special season- and they know it. 

JT is an eighth grade kicker, punter and safety for his middle school team.  Our 5th grader, Britton, is an offensive guard and defensive tackle for the same team. 

Britton normally wouldn’t be playing with JT’s team. After all, he’s still in elementary school. 

But his 5th grade team didn’t have enough players- so the middle school coach invited Britton to “play up” and practice with the older team. 

While Britton hasn’t played much, he’s learned a lot from the older players and the coaches. He’s gotten stronger, learned much more about the game and become more disciplined in his preparation.  

And it’s brought our boys closer. 

They talk about the games at the dinner table. In the car, they share jokes about things that happen at practices. 

Despite their age and skill differences- JT and Britton are sharing a common experience. 

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”  Mark 16:15

Isn’t that how the Bible draws it up?  

No matter our background…no matter our experience…no matter our status- the love of Jesus and the promise for salvation is for everyone. We have a shared experience. 

There’s no preferential treatment. Everyone is free to accept the same level of love, comfort and redemption through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

We are all united through Jesus. Teammates. And we should teach, support and pray for one another during our time together on earth. 

Please let me know how I might pray for you this week. It would be my honor as your teammate. 

God bless. 

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Go ahead….make my day 

I’m gonna have to brag a little.

Our daughter, Carson, is a senior this year.  Her high school announced the Senior Superlatives earlier tonight.

You remember the Senior Superlatives, right?  The infamous peer awards voted on by the senior class.  Most handsome and beautiful.  Best dressed.  Best athlete.

(I dreaded the Senior Superlatives when I was in high school.  I would have never been voted handsome, best dressed or the best athlete.)

Carson brought one home that made my heart smile.  Our baby girl was awarded “Most Likely to Brighten Your Day.”

Wow.  Most likely to brighten your day.  What an honor!

I shouldn’t be surprised.  Carson has a genuine care for others.  She has an infectious laugh, a big smile and loves the underdog.  She just has a presence that picks up your spirit.  Carson has an innate ability to sense when something is wrong- and try to do something about it.

But isn’t that what we should all strive to do?

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11

We are called to encourage and edify others.  But it doesn’t stop there.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

If we are to bear one another’s burdens, we need to do more.  It’s more than an affirming smile.  It requires an investment in people.  We need to increase our awareness of the needs of others and make a point to engage in their lives.

We need to engage with others in meaningful ways.  It takes effort.

You can learn a lot from your kids.

Please pray for me to be more aware of how I can help lighten the load of others.  And please let me know how to pray for you.

God bless.

 

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21 years and still learning

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Hollianne and I are celebrating 21 years of marriage today. 

Things were much simpler back in that summer of 1995.  We had a one bedroom apartment, a used green Ford Mustang and a 19 inch television.  I was working my first job out of grad school at a private college in Marietta, Ohio.  Hollianne was student teaching at Washington Elementary school.  We could both walk to work.

I also remember us having lots of free time.  While we were both busy at work, the evenings were ours.  We would walk downtown for dinner and sit by the river for hours on end.  We drove through the Amish countryside on weekends in search of antiques we couldn’t afford.  And on weekends that Fall- we made the six hour drive from Marietta to Knoxville to cheer on our beloved Volunteers.

We had time.  We spent it with each other.  It was an early investment in our marriage.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24

Life’s much more complicated now.  We’d added three active children.  Our jobs take us away from each other during the week, and the sports schedules of the kids cause us to split up each weekend.

We wouldn’t have it any other way…our family’s activities make for great memories.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.  Proverbs 18:22

While life events can complicate our marriages, it can also mature these relationships. If we’re lucky, we’ll notice when our relationships need adjustment or renewed focus. 

I love Hollianne even more today than I did way back in 1995. I’ve witnessed her give birth and raise our three children. I’ve watched her take care of parents and relatives during time of distress and need. I’ve seen her care for friends when crisis rocked their lives. 

And I’ve experienced her incredible grace over and over again. 

She’s my partner. My soulmate. My example. And my friend. 

Pray for me to be the husband that Hollianne needs. She deserves it. 

And let me know how to pray for you. 

God bless you. 

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Regret

Have you ever uttered words that you wish you could take back?

I often find myself saying hurtful things to the people I love the most.  Maybe it’s been a long day at the office.  Perhaps I’ve had a bad night of sleep.  Maybe I’m just frustrated with the kids.  Whatever the reason- I can be pretty insensitive.

Oh…it’s not yelling.  It’s much more subtle.  It can be a snippy, sarcastic remark. I excel at those, I’m afraid.

And later- I always regret those occasions.

I studied about regret this week.

Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, when to the chief priests and said “What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?”  And they paid him thirty pieces of silver.  And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him.  Matthew 26:14-16

Judas was one of the original disciples.  He had traveled with Jesus.  He had witnessed the miracles and heard the teachings.  He loved Jesus.

But greed overcame him.  Judas delivered Jesus to the men that would eventually kill him.  All over thirty pieces of silver.

Judas soon experienced remorse over his decision.

And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself.  Matthew 27:5

It was too late.  He let greed, jealously or any number of emotions overcome him…and delivered Jesus over to an angry crowd.

I can’t imagine how he felt.  I know I never want to experience regret like that.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

My personal prayer this week is to be more tenderhearted- and live with less regret. Jesus wants it that way.

And let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

 

 

 

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Extra Steps

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The Carvers have started taking extra steps each day.

Call it fitness or competition, but all of us have become increasingly aware of how much we walk.

We’ve all gotten activity trackers, and while some of us are more obsessive about the numbers than others- all of us are working hard to move more often each day.

We’re parking further away from buildings.  We’re taking the stairs at school and work.  The little things add up quickly.

I need to take extra steps in my spiritual life, too.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Romans 12:12

I’m not constant in prayer.  I’m not even consistent.  Some days are filled with rushed prayers…quick words offered up as I drive to work, tuck the kids in bed or rush toward a deadline or meeting.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Psalm 119:105

God’s word is to be used to illuminate our daily walk.  A lamp.  Unfortunately, I don’t study the Bible as much as I should.  Work, activities and even family get in the way of my personal study.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  1 John 4:11

It’s hard to love the unloveable.  I don’t often have the patience or desire to truly love those difficult people in my life.  And if I’m completely honest with myself, I know that I’m often perceived as the unloveable one…and need to be given grace.

I need to be diligent in my prayer life.  I need to be more disciplined in my personal Bible study.  And I need to be more forgiving of others- just as I need to seek forgiveness.

Pray that I work harder to make the extra steps in my spiritual life.  And let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

 

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Decisions


Our youngest child, Britton, struggles with making decisions.

It’s not surprising, as B is the youngest of three kids in the Carver house.  His older sister and brother have been making decisions for B his entire life.  It’s like he’s got two dads and two moms.  Advice abounds for the little guy.

Truth be told, I struggle with decisions too.

I often know what needs to be done in my life, but I resist.  I make choices out of selfish desires, wants and convenience.

Fortunately, Jesus never flinched when faced with the biggest decision in history.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.  2 Corinthians 5:21

Jesus knew why he was sent to this earth.

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.  Matthew 20:28

How often do we think about the magnitude of that decision?  Jesus died so that we might live.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

My prayer this next week is to intentionally reflect the power of this one, unselfish decision- and to seek the counsel of Jesus for all the choices of my life.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  James 1:5

Please let me know how I may pray for you.

(Kentucky Lake sunrise; March 16, 2016.  Big Sandy, TN)

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Overpaid


My son, JT, and I recently attended an NBA game to celebrate his birthday. We loved the pagentry of the arena and the passion of the fans as their teams made a final push for playoff spots.

We investigated team rosters to better follow the action. Interestingly enough, the online information also included their salaries. These men were all earning between $1-15 million a year to play basketball.

Ironically, it didn’t seem that all of these players were working that hard. The offenses were incredible, but the defense was non-existent. Players weren’t getting back on defense and the lack of effort to guard the offensive players was startling.

JT remarked that his youth league coaches would demand more effort.

We agreed that the coaches weren’t getting their money’s worth out of their teams.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9

It’s a good thing that God isn’t so critical of my performance.

I’m flawed. I sin.

I struggle with a hardened heart.

I don’t deserve the rewards that God has promised me.

Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

But Jesus died for me. You too. He died so we could be saved from sin. And while I can never repay this sacrifice, I owe it to Him to put away all my sinful habits and to try and be the man that God desires.

I’m overpaid, but grateful.

Please pray for me to be more loving and forgiving. And let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

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Creed

B and me Colorado 2015

I love the cinema story of boxer Rocky Balboa.  He’s the ultimate underdog who personifies hope, grit and determination.

I took the boys to see the most recent Rocky movie, Creed, earlier this week.  It’s the story of a young fighter, Adonis Johnson Creed.  Adonis is the illegitimate child of the former heavyweight champion, Apollo Creed.  Adonis never knew his father, as Apollo died in the boxing ring just before his son was born.  His birth mother also died when Adonis was very young.

Adonis is trained by Rocky Balboa, who finally gets Adonis a shot at the boxing title.  Near the end of the title fight Balboa asks Adonis what he wants to prove.  Adonis replies, “I’m going to prove that I’m not a mistake.”

What a profound statement.  Adonis had carried that burden around with him all his life.  Angry about being an illegitimate child…unwanted.  A mistake.

Have you ever felt like a mistake?  Someone unloved or unwanted?  What burden are you carrying around?

For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.  Galatians 3:26

There are no mistakes in Jesus Christ.  Everything and everyone has purpose.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Take comfort that the Creator of the entire universe loves you.  You are no mistake.  You were created for a specific purpose- and you and I need to seek it.

My prayer for this week is to let go of the self-doubt that keeps me from seeking God’s plan for my life.  Please let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

 

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The Ultimate Gift

IMG_4395_2Zaevion Dobson was shot and killed last week in Knoxville.

I had not met Dobson, but I’ll never forget his name or the impact of his life.

Dobson was a victim of a shooting late Thursday night.  Each day there are senseless acts of violence throughout America, but this one was different.

Dobson, a brave 15-year-old sophomore, heard shots being fired.  Without hesitation, he threw his body across three young girls walking nearby.  A bullet hit Dobson, but no one else was injured because he acted as a human shield for his friends.

Think about that.

When gunshots are fired most people duck or run…take cover.  Not Dobson.  His first instinct was to protect his friends- even when it cost him his life.  What a gift he gave to these young women.

This incident reminded me of the frailty of life.

It also made me grateful for Jesus, who died for us all.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. …  Romans 5:6-11

This time of year we celebrate the birth of Jesus.  We also need to reflect on the gift of salvation He gave to us…and His willingness to die for you and me.

Let not your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God; believe also in me.  John 14:1

This world needs more people with courage like Zaevion Dobson.

And we also need to be grateful for the ultimate display of courage from Jesus.

Please pray for the family and friends of Zaevion Dobson.  Also pray for Fulton High School and the Knoxville community.

Also give thanks for Jesus protecting us from a death in sin.  Jesus gave us the hope of an eternal life.  What a blessing.

God bless all of you.  Merry Christmas.

 

 

 

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