Tag Archives: Christian life

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Uninvited dinner guest

angry-raccoon

Hollianne and I love to entertain. We enjoy having people over for dinners, cookouts or even hosting groups of our kids’ friends and teammates for a swim or an outdoor movie.  

We’ve recently met our match, however. 

In the wooded 40 acre wooded expanse behind our home lives a raccoon. A large, hungry raccoon. This creature waits until the dark of night before climbing our iron fence and rummaging through our backyard.  He turns over small tables and crawls over our furniture looking for a dropped morsel of food or a misplaced snack. 

He’s strong too, as he routinely moves barriers we’ve created to secure our trash. Daybreak often brings a task of picking up the remnants of his midnight snack- which he leaves littered across the yard. 

The raccoon even terrorizes our dog, Sky.  Sky refuses to go in the backyard after the sun sets. 

  
I can relate to this phenomenon in my personal life. There are uninvited traits and character flaws that expose my weakneses every day. Jealousy. Anger. Pride. These and other undesirable traits hide beneath the surface- waiting for the opportune moment to come out and hurt relationships with friends, co-workers and loved ones. 

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.  James 4:17

I know these traits exist, yet it’s a struggle to confront them.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.  1 John 1:8-10

Fortunately, we have help. 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I need to confront these traits and ask for help. I am weak, but He is strong. 

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

Please pray for me to have the courage to face those pieces of my nature that separate me from Jesus. Help me break down barriers that keep me from having good, meaningful relationships with others. 

And let me know how I may pray for you. 

God bless. 

Oh…and by the way…raccoons struggle to figure out the science behind a set of good bungee straps. Thank goodness. 

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Coaching lessons from a Blue Devil

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What are the qualities of a good coach?  We immediately think of people who can develop great game plans…or individuals who are flexible and can make quick adjustments during a game.

The horrible shooting tragedy that occurred in Chattanooga last week gave me a new perspective on coaching.

Our Governor, Bill Haslam, was visiting Erlanger hospital to visit the wounded from last week’s attack on the Navy reserve center.  The wife of one of the wounded soldiers stopped the Governor and informed him that her husband had always admired the Duke University basketball team- especially head coach Mike Krzyzewski.  A comforting message or word from the coach- she said- would mean so much to the critically-wounded soldier.

This set a plan in motion.  Within a couple of hours the story surrounding this soldier had reached Durham, NC and the head of the Duke basketball program- Coach K.  The coach’s travel schedule was hectic, but he created time to contact the soldier’s wife and others caring for the soldier at Erlanger hospital.

He also recorded a special message for the wounded soldier:

This is Coach. I have an important message for you.

You’re on a great team down there in Chattanooga, with all the doctors and the medical staff. But I need you to do your part. I need you to be strong.

The basketball season starts in the fall. We want you sitting courtside.

We want you ready to get into the game.

The young soldier heard the message late in the day.  It was a lift for all involved…the wounded, the family and the hospital staff.  Coach K took quick action.  He engaged.  He understood the situation.  He was empathetic and encouraging.

Sadly, the solider died the next morning.  Coach K’s contact and sincere encouragement, however, had been a real lift in the spirits for all involved- including the wounded serviceman.  He had made a difference.

We all have the ability to be a coach.  What other things do good coaches do?

Set Vision

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Good coaches trust God to guide their plans.  They listen diligently for God’s instruction when leading others- and go confidently toward their goals.

Engage Others in the Process

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.  1 John 3:16

Coaching and leading are about relationships.  You can’t be an effective coach without engaging others.  We exist to help and serve.  We need to demonstrate to others that we care about their lives, hurts, fears and successes.

Develop the Talents of their Team Members

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

Good coaches recognize the gifts and weaknesses of their teams.  They constantly work to help individuals better- either on the court, in the office or at home.

Stay Calm

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7

Good coaches keep calm when the world seems to be falling apart.  They are in touch with God’s ever-present sense of peace and wisdom…and they feed off of this strength.

All of us have the ability to coach.  It may be with our children, a neighbor or a family friend.  I pray that we all look for ways to engage and encourage this week.  Showing the love of Jesus to others is, after all, a contact sport.

God bless you.  Please let me know how I can pray for you- and remember the people impacted by the attacks in Chattanooga last week.

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The world’s oldest profession

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And the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

We live in a crowded suburb of Knoxville on a postage stamp-sized piece of property. It’s just big enough to allow our three active kids with a small place to get outside. For the past three years, however, our youngest son Britton has carved out spaces around the house to plant tomatoes, peppers and herbs.

He’s discovered that even simple plants aren’t easy to grow. There are rocks in our yard…even slabs of hidden concrete. The ground slopes dramatically and we have an abundant supply of weeds and insects.

Britton doesn’t complain. He finds creative spots to plant his vegetables each year. He’s successful despite the obstacles.

The original farmers had it easy. God provided fertile, rich soil and a steady supply of water. Fruit trees were everywhere. God granted Adam and Eve free reign to work this beautiful place with one exception- they were forbidden to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16 and 3:3).

We know the rest of the story. Adam and Eve were tempted by the snake, which convinced them to eat from the forbidden tree. Sin and strife entered the world as a result of their disobedience.

Farming became difficult.

Adam and Even had to leave the beautiful garden. God made the ground hard and filled with thorns and thistles. Sweat and toil would be necessary to work the fields and provide food.

I’m truly no different from Adam and Eve. I know what’s wrong and what’s right, yet I am tempted by the delights of this world and routinely fall short of His purpose for me. Like the original farmers, poor choices make my life more difficult than it has to be.

We have a Savior that loves us anyway- despite our bad decisions. It’s our responsibility to learn from the past and discipline ourselves through study and prayer to have a heart like Jesus.

I can learn a lesson or two from Britton’s garden. Obstacles and setbacks are everyday occurrences in this life, but we just have to keep working. The rewards are eternal.

Please pray for me. Let me know how I may pray for you. God bless.

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What’s under the surface

JT swimming 2015

JT, our thirteen year old son, has spent a considerable amount of time in the water lately.  He’s training for his first sprint triathalon…a 1/4 mile swim in Kentucky Lake, then a 16 mile bike ride and culminating with a 3 mile run.  It’s an ambitious goal, but he’s enjoyed the training.

To prepare for this event JT is swimming in the Tennessee River near our home.  It’s a different experience for him…as he’s had to get out of his comfort zone.  The scenery is beautiful, but the dark water of the river is a bit intimidating.  While the surface is peaceful and calm, there can be dangerous things lurking underneath.

It’s what you can’t see that bothers you during the training.  There are logs, hidden currents, and submerged trash.  It’s a constant reminder that things aren’t always what they seem.

It’s a great analogy for my own life.  My office is filled with photos of a smiling wife and happy children.  Facebook and Twitter illustrate fun experiences with family and friends.  We attend church as a family every Sunday.  I talk about my rewarding job and interesting co-workers.  Life is good right?

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  1 Samuel 16:7

There are many flaws right under the surface of my life.  While I try my hardest to put on a big smile, if I’m honest I’ll admit that I’m scarred and broken just underneath.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.  2 Timothy 2:15

Jesus is concerned with the depth of love I have for my wife and children.  He wants me to invest in the lives of others.  He cares about my thoughts, my purpose and my intentions.

My prayer this weekend will be that we focus more on the matters of the heart- and not the superficial.

Please pray for me.  And let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless.

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Where are you from?

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“Where are you from?”  It’s a question often asked when people meet for the first time.  “Home” is one of the hallmarks of our identity.  It helps define us.

Hollianne and I have several places to call home.  We were both born in rural West Tennessee. We still have family there, so it’ll always be a special place for us.  On the other hand- all three of our children were born in Knoxville, so East Tennessee sure feels like home too.  And southeastern Ohio holds a special place in our hearts as well….as that’s the area we first lived as a married couple right out of graduate school.

Hollianne and I have lived many places over the past 20 years, but one thing is for certain:  if I’m with her- anywhere feels like home.

Isn’t that what “home” really is?  It’s where we feel safe and comfortable.  Where we feel refreshed and alive.  Home isn’t a building or structure, it’s more about the emotion.

As Christians, we have the promise of the ultimate place to call home.

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.  2 Corinthians 5:1

God has granted us a pathway to reach an eternal home.

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”—  1 Corinthians 2:9

Heaven has been described as “paradise” (Luke 23) and a place of no pain, sorrow or sadness (Revelation 21).  Can you imagine that?  No tears in Heaven.  A place of eternal happiness.  The ultimate home place.

Let’s commit to preparing for a journey to our eternal home.  I’ll pray for you-  and I hope that you will pray for me too.

God bless.

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Prom night

Carson 2015 junior assembly

Carson is headed to the West High School Prom tonight.  It’s been a day of preparation…the dress, hair, nails and the flowers.  No detail has been overlooked by Carson or Hollianne.  It’s the latest of a series of milestones in Carson’s quickly-passing high school years.

She looks beautiful.

But let’s be honest.  I think that Carson looks great everyday.  She’s a kind, fun and confident young woman…and her attitude makes her beautiful even when wearing her basketball sweats or shorts and a t-shirt.  I’m a bit biased, of course.  But being around her just makes me feel good.  Carson shines from the inside.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  I Peter 3:3-4

Aren’t there people in your life who seem to radiate with positive energy?  It’s their inner beauty that draws us to them.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  I Samuel 16:7

Our call is to develop the inside. Work on those qualities that can purify our heart and bring eternal rewards.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  Corinthians 4:16

I’m grateful for the inner beauty that surrounds me everyday.  It inspires me and makes me want to be a better person.

My prayer today will be for us to seek the inner goodness in those around us.  And pray for me to be a good father to Carson as she continues to march toward maturity.

She deserves it.

God bless you.

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Focus

"February 3, 2015:"

“Clear eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!”

I’ll admit it.  Hollianne and I are fans of the television show Friday Night Lights.  Many of you have watched it.  The series is about a small Texas town consumed with the local high school football team- the Dillon Panthers.  The coach, Eric Taylor, continually has his players state a mantra for their team…”Clear eyes, Full hearts, can’t lose.”  It’s a unifying phrase for their team.  They shout it in practice, in the film room, in the weight room and during games.  It’s about focus.

Focus is important for athletes.  It’s important for us as Christians too.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Matthew 6:33

It’s easy to lose focus in our everyday lives.

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.  Proverbs 4:25

Distractions are everywhere.  The Dillon Panthers struggled with pride, laziness, selfishness, arguments and envy on their annual quest for a state title.  We struggle in similar ways in our daily lives.  I’m guilty of each of these pitfalls, unfortunately.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Philippians 4:8

Perhaps we should adopt this phrase for ourselves.  Focus for the Christian means:

Clear Eyes- But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?  1 John 3:17

Full Hearts- Let all that you do be done in love.  1 Corinthians 16:14

Can’t Lose- For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4

Please pray for me for focus this next week.  And let me know if I can pray for you.

God bless.

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Sand

Spring Break family photo

Our family has spent time on the Gulf Coast of Florida this week.  It’s been a wonderful experience- filled with sunshine, warm temperatures and relaxing activities on the beach.

One of the most amazing sights has been the creativity of our fellow beach visitors.  We’ve seen amazing sand sculptures.  Castles, sharks, mermaids, elaborate starfish…even complete cities made out of beach sand.  The time and effort placed into this beach art was phenomenal.

It was equally disappointing for our boys, however, to see the sand artwork gone each morning.  Impressive and beautiful projects were simply washed away by the tide overnight.

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  Matthew 7:26

As beautiful and ascetically pleasing as the beach can be, sand structures are no match against wind and water.  They are fragile and delicate against the forces of nature.

Aren’t many of our own earthly pursuits similar to the sand structure?  If I could just drive that new truck….if I could achieve that promotion at work…if I could just live in that neighborhood…if I could just get my kids into that school.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  Colossians 3:2

These pursuits are made of sand.  They quickly wither and evaporate.  They are temporary.  I need to focus instead on the pursuit of character.  In the book of Galatians, Paul wrote of another set of traits that we should consider:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

I have to concentrate on those traits that develop Christian character.  Traits that will help me prevail against difficult times.

Let’s commit to two tasks this week.  First, let’s read and meditate on Galatians 5.  Second, please pray for for us to recognize and commit to developing traits with eternal value.  We should do this for one another.

God bless you.  Let me know if I can pray for you.

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Secrets

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Our youngest, Britton, loves a good secret.

Let me clarify that statement.  Britton (a.k.a. B) loves to tell a good secret!  If you have something in our house that needs to be kept under wraps…birthday gift, family surprise or a trip location…it’s best to not let the big guy know.  With B there are NO secrets.  If he knows something, he tells it.  If he’s feeling something, you can see it in his face.  He’s one of the most transparent people I know.

How many of us have secrets that we don’t reveal?

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8

Hidden pieces of our character and our human nature that we don’t want others to see.  It might be anger, greed or jealousy.  I have them.  There are secret rooms in my heart that I need to address.

And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”  Mark 7:20-23

We all need to realize that there are no secrets with God.  He knows our thoughts and every weakness.

Secrets can consume us and keep us from walking with Jesus.  The best way to deal with secrets is to shed light on our problems.  Confess our weaknesses and ask for help.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

We have the ultimate Counselor.

Please pray for me to rid my heart of secrets.  And let me know if I may pray for you.

And don’t tell B what you’ve purchased anyone for their birthday.

God bless.

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Clutter

Sledding 2014

Clutter.

That’s the one word that can most accurately describe the Carver household for the past few weeks.

It’s simple math…truly.

Three active kids + snow and ice + freezing temperatures for weeks on end + no school since before Valentine’s Day = Clutter.

If you drove up to our home for the majority of February, you would be met by shovels, snowboards and sleds on the front porch.  As you entered the front door- you would find piles of boots and gloves in the floor.  And the laundry room….wow.  The floor was overflowing with socks, shirts and wet snow pants.

It seemed that as soon as we could unload the dishwasher, we were loading it again.  It’s been a zoo.

While the weather has provided a temporary mess around our home, life can throw many forms of clutter that distract us from a true relationship with Jesus.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  Romans 8:5

Our lives are filled with worries about family, health and work.  We are often tired from the day’s events…and are continually looking ahead to a new day filled with challenges.

We need focus.

Jesus had focus.  He was focused on our salvation.  Oh, He had worries and concerns.  We know that he agonized about His death on the cross.

And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” 43 And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  Luke 22: 41-44

We need focus in our lives.  We need to rid ourselves of any mental clutter and think about the focus of Jesus.  He endured a horrible, physical death so that we gain a gift of eternal life and salvation.

I need your prayers to live a life more focused on Jesus.  Let me know if I may pray for you.

God bless.

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