Hollianne and I have been married twenty years today. Much has changed since 1995…along the way we’ve had three children, owned four dogs, lived in seven homes in four cities and two states.

One thing has been constant during these two decades…Hollianne is the greatest blessing in my earthly life. There’s not been a day where we haven’t touched, talked or communicated. She’s my rock and my very best friend.

She’s also taught me many life lessons through our marriage. While I could fill the pages of a book- I’ll chose to focus on the five greatest principles that I’ve learned since meeting Hollianne over twenty years ago.

5)  Be selfless

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Philippians 2:4

Let’s face it…we are selfish creatures.  It’s our very nature to look out for ourselves.  But marriage is about commitment- a bond between two people.  Hollianne has sacrificed over and over again for my career, our kids and the happiness of our home.  She’s constantly putting others before herself and has been an incredible example of selflessness for both me and our children.

4)  Forgiveness is a good thing

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13

Hollianne has shown me grace when I didn’t deserve it.  She’s been willing to forgive me when I’ve been selfish, demanding or just plain unlovable.  She’s taught me that it’s better to forgive (and forget) than to carry around the pain and burden of hurt in a relationship.

3)  Yesterday doesn’t define tomorrow

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Marriages aren’t always perfect…because people aren’t perfect.  There are difficult times in any relationship.  Hollianne has shown me that there are lessons to be learned from any situation.  She uses the past as a “teacher” and moves forward with wisdom and discernment for situations that we’ll face in the future.

2)  Invest in your marriage everyday

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.  Luke 6:38

No matter what may be going on with our daily schedule, Hollianne makes me feel special.  It may be a note on my bedside table, a letter in my overnight bag or just a well-timed text.  She’s a busy mom, worker and community volunteer- but she always makes time to let me know that she cares.  I’m grateful for that.

1)  You never stop growing together

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

Marriage is a long-term commitment.  You both mature and grow in your relationship.  And, if you are lucky, you have a spouse that helps you in your spiritual growth.  Hollianne is that person for me.  She’s an absolute truth-teller and keeps me in line when I lose focus.  We learn and grow from each other.

I’ve learned a lot from Hollianne over the past 20 years.  May God continue to bless our marriage- and may I grow to be the man that she deserves.

Please pray for me- and let me know how I may pray for you.

God bless you.