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Angel in West Memphis

It was a cold, rainy night in November, just a few days before Thanksgiving in 2010. I was working in Memphis on an interim appointment, while Hollianne and the kids stayed at our home in Martin. I usually spent Monday-Thursday in Memphis, traveling back to Martin for long weekends.

I left the office around 8:30 p.m. and remembered that I needed a couple of items for my apartment. It was dark, and I recall a real chill in the air that night as I walked to my truck. The rain intensified as I drove to the West Memphis (AR) Wal-Mart. The Hernando Desoto bridge was so covered in thick fog that I struggled to see the cars in front of me. I was miserable. It had been a long day, I missed my family, and the weather was unbearable.

The parking lot of the Wal-Mart was approximately 25% full and I was grateful to find a parking spot near the front door. I wasn’t surprised…as no one wanted to be out in this weather.

As I walked toward the entrance I had the feeling that someone was following me. I looked over my shoulder and saw that someone was…a heavy-set man in a grey hooded sweatshirt and khaki pants. We made eye contact and then he quickly darted out of sight behind a line of parked cars. I didn’t give it much thought.

I put this sight out of my mind as I entered the store. WIthin 10 minutes I had made my purchases and was walking back out to the parking lot. It was there that I saw him again. Grey sweatshirt, khaki pants, thick glasses that framed his face. He looked like 10,000 people that I’d seen that month. Just a normal guy. Like me.

I said “good evening” as we approached one another. He said something in response and kept walking toward the store. As we passed in the parking lot I noticed that he was soaking wet and had about two days of stubble on his face. His wet hair was plastered on this head beneath the hood of his sweatshirt. He didn’t make eye contact when I spoke.

I walked on to my truck and started the engine. I turned on the wipers and defroster to try and clear my windshield. I became distracted while waiting for my truck to warm up and started a quick text message to Hollianne before leaving the parking lot. Suddenly I felt a presence and I looked up….and saw the man standing right in front of my truck. His eyes were lit up from the reflection of my headlights into his glasses. Startled, I wondered what I should do. He didn’t move once I looked up…he wanted to talk.

“I’m not wanting to hurt you….please let me talk with you,” he shouted over my running engine.

I didn’t know what to do. He walked over to my window and asked me to listen to him. My first impluse was to drive away. He was no longer in front of me and I could have just pulled away from him. Something held me there. While nervous, I wasn’t afraid. I decided to talk with him.

His name was Carl. He lived in Florida and had been traveling to visit family in Missouri when his car broke down in West Memphis. He was stranded there for several days as he waited for someone, anyone in Florida to send him some money to have his car repaired. His car was at Sunrise Pontiac….just a few miles away in Memphis. He had a job- but explained that he was living paycheck to paycheck after a divorce and had no savings or emergency fund to help with his car repair. He had spoken to his boss and knew that his job was safe, but that he would not get paid for the days of work he was missing. He hoped to have some money wired to him tomorrow and be back on the road to Florida by the late afternoon.

That’s when I saw her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a young girl who couldn’t have been much older than my daughter, Carson. I turned to look at her and he explained that she was his daughter. She was traveling with him. She was cold, shivering- and wouldn’t look at either of us while we were talking. She had a blank stare and was focusing on the falling rain that was steadily pounding the parking lot.

I remember asking what he needed. He told me that he barely had enough money for a room in a nearby motel. He also said that he planned on being able to pay for his car repair with some money that would arrive tomorrow. They simply needed food. They were hungry. He then told me that his name was Carl.

Tears poured down his face as he explained that he had never asked for assistance like this. He and his daughter were proud people, but this one piece of bad luck had a domino effect on their lives over the past two days. They had temporary shelter, but needed food. He was obviously troubled by being reduced to begging in a parking lot.

He explained that they had been in the parking lot for the past 6 hours. It took him a while to finally be able to swallow his pride and ask for help. Unfortunately, bad weather and an early sunset made it difficult for him to engage anyone. He said that I was the only person who had made eye contact with him all evening- and he thought he would engage me.

I walked back inside the store with this man and his daughter. She sat down on a bench inside the store near the front entrance. Carl and I walked through the grocery section. I wondered how much he would try to get me to buy. I pushed a buggy as we went down the aisles. Peanut butter, jelly, white bread, mustard, plastic forks and knives, canned beans, bananas, apples and bottled water. It was a small load of groceries- and I admit that I was surprised at how little he gathered. I asked Carl if he wanted more food. He told me that this shopping trip would provide them with a good dinner and breakfast in the morning, plus more meals for the ride home. The peanut butter didn’t need to be refrigerated, so they could carry it in their car to minimize their expenses. I was ashamed for thinking otherwise.

As we walked to the checkout I asked Carl if he needed any money for gas. He told me that he had 1/2 a tank, but that he thought he might be able to make it home with the small amount he’d have left over after his money arrived tomorrow. Hopefully. Perhaps. He didn’t know.

I decided to buy him a gas card. Carl didn’t see it until the cashier rang it up. He started to object but quickly caught his own words and said “thank you.”

We walked out into the parking lot and joined his daughter near the entrance. She was smiling now, and for the first time she made eye contact with me. Carl collected the two small bags out of the cart and handed them to his daughter. He then asked me for my address so he could send me some money for the groceries once “he got out of this hole.” I told him that it was my pleasure to help in some small way, and wished him well on the rest of his journey. He asked me for my address one last time- and when I again refused- he simply thanked me and walked away. They were talking like any father and daughter might do…excited about their food and for a slight “break” in their run of bad luck.

I watched Carl and his daughter walk toward a bank of nameless motels near the parking lot. I stood and watched them until the darkness reduced them to a couple of shadows in the distance. I turned and walked to my truck, still processing what had just happened.

Once I cranked my truck I started shaking. I was overwhelmed with emotion and sadness. What if that were me? What if that were my daughter? What a tough journey this family had been through over the past two days…and I couldn’t imagine what was still in store as they awaited the loan and would try to make it home.

Why didn’t I do more? Why didn’t I offer to cover their motel bill? Couldn’t I have helped with their car repair? I had simply done what Carl had asked. He needed food- nothing more. It had happend so quickly that I really didn’t have time to process what was happening- or how else I could help.

I needed to find Carl. I wanted to check on him and his daughter. I drove the street in front of the store and couldn’t find them. It was raining harder now, and I was certain that they had made their way into their (hopefully) dry, warm room. But which hotel? How could I find them? I didn’t even have a last name.

I hit my steering wheel out of frustration. Why hadn’t I asked more questions? What else could I have done? I knew that friends from church and work would have helped this man pay for his car repair. I had missed an opportunity.

My encounter with Carl stayed with me through the Thanksgiving holiday. I wondered how Carl and his daughter got home. I thought about his Thanksgiving day. Would there be a happy gathering with family, or would he be back at work- trying desperately to repay his loan for the car repair? I thought about him often…as the days between Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday are filled with happy times for most people, but I anticipated heartache and struggles for Carl and his daughter. I thought about them most when I would leave the office at night. As the air got colder and the days grew shorter, my mind would drift back to our encounter in the parking lot.

Hebrews 13:1-3 reads “Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering (ESV).” I thought about this passage often over the next several months. While I won’t suggest that Carl and his daughter were angels, I do think that this experience taught me that I need to be more aware of those in need and try to help when the opportunity arises.

I failed in this case, but the lesson was not lost on me. I pray that I am mature and aware enough to respond as I should the next time a “Carl” crosses my path.

God bless you, Carl- wherever you are.

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Unique, thank God

Brittons tieLike millions of other men across the world, I truly look forward to Father’s Day.  It’s a great event for me, as I get to celebrate being Hollianne’s husband and the father to our three children.

This year brought a special surprise. Our youngest child presented me with a gift that I’ll never forget. Britton obtained a paisley-patterned tie for me to wear. While the tie was wonderful, it’s what Britton did with the tie that made it extra special. Britton took brightly-colored paint pens and personalized it! He drew three children on the tie (representing the Carver kids) and wrote “Happy Father’s Day” across the top. He proudly told me that it was the only one like it in the world…it was unique. He beamed with pride when I wore it to church that morning.

Just like my special gift from my son, we as Christians should celebrate our uniqueness. We are carefully made by God our Father.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

God knows everything about us. He knows our strengths and shortcomings. He knows our past and our future. He uniquely made us for His service.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Psalm 139:1-5

I cherish my Father’s Day tie…and am so thankful for the son who created it for me. But we are infinitely more cherished by our heavenly Father, and I pray that we will all continually work to use our unique gifts and talents to glorify His holy name.

God bless you.

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Cleansed from the Inside Out

Carson

I had the honor of a lifetime late last night.

My daughter, Carson, called us from church camp in Nashville to let us know that she was ready to accept Jesus as her Savior and be baptized for the remission of her sins.  Hollianne and I rushed over to middle Tennessee to be a part of this special event- and I even had the great honor of baptizing my little girl.

We are born sinners, but we do not need to die in sin.  The death of Jesus on Calvary’s cross has blotted away our sins- and has cleansed us from the inside out.

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord?  Who may stand in His holy place?  He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.  Psalm 24:3-4

How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!  Hebrews 9:14

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.  For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.  1 Peter 1:22-23

True cleansing comes from within.  It’s a matter of the heart.  We experience grace and salvation through contact with Christ’s blood.  Our transgressions are blotted out…our sins are forgiven.  What a glorious gift.

I told Carson last night that her obedience and outward commitment to God had given us a new relationship.  She woke up on Thursday morning a daughter, but she went to sleep as my sister in Christ.

What a great feeling.  God bless.

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Worry like the Philippians?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Giving up our anxiety is easier said than done, isn’t it? We face an enormous amount of pressure each
day, whether it’s from work, home or society.

Stress can cause us to turn inward for answers…a reliance on self to
“fix” whatever situation we find ourselves facing. The Bible gives us great assurance that God
cares- and wants us to present Him with our worries. What a comfort to know that the same God that
created the heavens and the earth is also interested in our worries and
concerns!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

The next time you go to God in prayer- thank Him for the blessings you
have received in this earthly life. Also present your concerns to Him. Give your
worries over to God and ask for His wisdom and guidance in assisting you
through life’s valleys. We’ve been promised comfort and help. What a blessing!

God bless.

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Old-school boldness: Be like Joshua

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Can you imagine how Joshua must have felt upon hearing this? Moses has just died and Joshua has been chosen to finally lead his people into the Promised Land. Joshua knew that this part of the journey would be filled with conflict and fighting, but God was with him- and the promises He had made years ago to Abraham of obtaining a land, a new nation and a blessing (Genesis 12:1-3) were finally coming to fruition. After years of wandering in the wilderness, the Israelites were to obtain their home.

God keeps His promises to us today- just as he did to Abraham and Joshua. His promises are realized today and will be here tomorrow. We must be faithful, diligent and bold- because we have been promised that “the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Let His light shine within and around you today. Be bold and confident.

God bless you.

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Hit and Run

I was hit this morning in Memphis.

I was stopped at a traffic light along Riverside Drive. I casually glanced up at my rear-view mirror just in time to see a red Toyota compact bearing down on me quickly. The driver was obviously distracted, probably checking her iPhone for a text message or changing her radio dial.

I braced for the collision- knowing that the impact was only moments away. The driver looked up at the last instant, applied her breaks, and then slammed into my bumper.

Before I could gather my thoughts, the light turned green and traffic started moving again. The driver behind me had her head in her hands- looking straight out her winshield to survey the damage to her hood.

I slowly moved forward and looked for a place to pull over. I turned on my signal to indicate a right-hand turn on Jefferson Street, hoping that the lady behind me would follow. I wanted to make sure she was o.k., survey the damage to our vehicles, and exchange insurance information if necessary.

I was glad to see that she had decided to follow me on Jefferson. I looked at her car in my rear-view mirror, but I could not see the severity of the damage. I looked for a good place to pull over and moved toward a lane of parking meters. Unfortunately, the woman behind me quickly changed her mind….turning and making a hasty retreat back toward Riverside Drive. She made a quick right-hand turn and was gone in an instant.

I was stunned.

Why did she drive off?

Why wouldn’t she want to see if I was o.k.?

Why wouldn’t she want to immediately check on her car?

My shock soon turned to frustration. My truck was o.k. (just a few scratches) and more importantly- I was o.k. I’m sure that her grill and hood were extensively damaged.

I thought about this incident- and the woman involved- all morning. Why did she drive away? She was obviously scared. Scared of my reaction. Scared to look at her car’s damage. Scared to look at the damage to my truck. She had a split decision to make a decision- and she decided to run. Away. Afraid.

My frustration turned in to sorrow later in the day. Did she not have insurance? How would she pay for the damage to her car?

It made me think about how many times have I participated in a ‘hit and run’ in my daily life. I have sprinted away from a relationship that desperately needs repair. I’ve ignored someone who desperately needs help- but it’s out of my comfort level to lend a hand. I make sure that I get in that last, painful verbal shot during an argument and walk away. I know that I fail others each and every day, and I pray that I can take a lesson from the accident this morning.

We are all going to fail. All of us fall short- even on our best of days. The true test of character, however, is how we respond and learn from our mistakes. Our eternal Father offers us a sense of peace if we are willing to own up to our mistakes, confess our transgressions and work to become a more complete person. He offers us a fresh start each and every day.

I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”- and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. Psalm 32: 1-2

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. I Peter 1:23

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the rusurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. I Peter 1:3

I’m sorry that I reacted the way I did this morning. I pray that the woman who hit my truck is o.k. I also pray that the next time I am faced with an opportunity to ‘hit and run,’ I have the courage, wisdom and strength to make the right decision.

Have a good day- and God bless.

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Persistence

And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right. 2 Thessalonians 3:13

I’ve often heard it said that life is all about “Plan B.”

Carson, our daughter, was excited about her freshman year of high school basketball. She worked hard all summer on her conditioning and shooting, and she was able to secure a spot on the varsity team. By late September, however, Carson developed an injury in her foot that required her to miss the entire season. She was crushed- all that time preparing over the summer was wiped away with one trip to the orthopedist.

Carson struggled for a couple of days, but her mood eventually changed. Determined to be on the court in some way, she decided to help coach a basketball team of second grade girls. She immersed herself in drills, motivational ploys and teaching the basics of basketball. Her crew of young players had a rough start, losing their first three games. But Carson was determined to make this thing work. And they all improved…the girls became better players and Carson became a better coach. By midseason these young women had turned into a confident, skilled group of players. They improved each game and eventually made a deep run in the city recreation league championship. Best of all? Carson had channeled her frustration into an opportunity to continue with basketball- and make a positive impact on the lives of some special kids. She turned her hurt into something good by attempting to help others.

We are all faced with tough times Plans don’t go as we had hoped. Unexpected obstacles pop up. Life just happens. We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control our attitudes. The Bible gives us numerous passages focusing on pressing on through tough times, including:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

By standing firm you will gain life. Luke 21:19

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:3

Endurance. Patience. Persistence. May you never “tire in doing what is right.” God bless.

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Kindness

As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. 2 Thessalonians 3:13

It had been a really tough week. One of those weeks where I felt intense pressure to get a huge project off my desk and I only had a couple of days to make it happen. I had been in the office late for several nights in a row. Tim, our nighttime facilities worker for the building, must have noticed the stressed, hectic activity over the three-day span. Usually conversational and engaging, he simply cleaned around my office and generally left me alone. This was fine with me, as I needed to press forward as quickly and as focused as possible.

One evening as I was leaving, I noticed a small package sitting in my outer office. It was a plate of food- leftovers from a luncheon that had occurred earlier in the day. There was a sticky note on the top of the covered plate that said “you’ve had a lot on your plate this week…hope this plate of dinner might help you. Good luck.”

This sort of thing certainly wasn’t in Tim’s job description. But Tim noticed that I was rushed, stressed and probably not that pleasant to be around. This one simple act of kindness changed my whole outlook on the project- and especially my day.

We are often consumed with our own projects, worries and thoughts. I pray for increased awareness to look around me and see how I can help others. It’s not always in those big, courageous acts either. We can lift the spirit of another with a simple, unspoken action.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

May we all be made aware of opportunities for kindness to others. God bless.

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Celebrate like it’s your birthday

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

If you live in the Carver house, you know that July 8 is an important date. Everyone in our family knows the importance of July 8- probably because we are reminded of that date at least once a week for the entire year. July 8 is the birthday of our youngest child, Britton…also known as “B.”

B loves his birthday. He talks about it often. Perhaps it comes with being the youngest of three children. In his 8 years of life he’s been driven countless miles to sit in stands and bleachers to watch his older siblings play basketball, soccer, baseball and softball. You can double that amount if you factor in practices and scrimmages. July 8 is the single day that all the attention is on him. Nothing else is more important than the events of that day. B decides where we’ll eat, what we’ll do and who we’ll invite to the festivities. On July 8th it’s all about B.

Or perhaps it’s the gift. B loves birthday gifts. He mentions the objects of his desire all year long- wearing all of us down with his constant reminders.

As Christians, we have the opportunity to celebrate a special series of events- and be thankful for a precious gift that we’ve been offered.

Luke 18: 31-33 Then He took the twelve and said to them, “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and all things which are written through the prophets about the Son of Man will be accomplished. For He will be handed over to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and mistreated and spit upon, and after they have scourged Him, they will kill Him; and on the third day He will rise again.”

Jesus Christ sacrificed his body on the cross so that our sins might be washed away. He has established hope for eternal life with Him in heaven. Nothing we can do could ever repay this gift.

And so we should appreciate and celebrate this moment…this event…this gift.
The death
The 3rd day that followed…the resurrection
The promise fulfilled
It’s even better than your birthday.

God bless.

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